8: the Countryside, such beauty in the jungle

5/17/09

Country (18^th)

5/17/09

(5/16/09) Up all night packing, as I was expecting dirt floors, no running water, a 1.5 mile hike with my backpack (hellooooo shoes for the first time) etc. We got up at 5:30AM, my stomach was in Shambles all last night (the beach food, then the early morning breakfast of greens apparently made Sammie’s mom sick as well, so pepto bismal and NOW every day / meal, a family member asks “How is his stomach.” “Word gets around quick” as Sammie said, haha.

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½ hour cab ride, to a bus with AC, thankfully, unthankfully the AC vent is busted right in my direction, so its actually Cold on the ride up. I use my awesome asian hat (of which I overpaid for) to deflect some of the AC. Two hours later, we arrive at the lounging coffee shop to await the hot cousin’s friend, and her dad (the darker uncle). I felt like I was going to break the little hut with my weight, “You break you buy!” is a national motto, but it twas all good.

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The uncle came over, grabbed beer, then made trips on his scooter to grab all of our stuff.

Then we “hiked” over path’s (mainly concrete then hard packed dirt), very scenic, I had to gob my exposed skin with sunblock to avoid a purple suntan. The shoe’s would have been worthless, as its an “easy” walk really, about 1.5 miles.

The video and pictures show how gorgeous the home and surrounding area was. This was the type of house I had in my mind for where we were staying (albeit four stories, so I got the two confused nicely). Very open spaces, highly rustic, but the place had been very updated since Sammie’s last visit (almost ten years ago, though it was only updated ~2 years ago, help with the Aunti’s $$$).

The updates included the true toilet (which used to be a literal hole in the ground with some water, no piping), piping for fresh water (all of the pots), piping for hose pressure from the pond (with one switch, he had a monster power-washer type pressure in the large industrial garden hose to wash off the chicken coop daily, this was also used to refill trenches for plants). The updates also had the tile in the house (which due to the cousin constantly OCD cleaning, was very clean).

House tour below, first arrival.

Ate some waterpalm below: Video also has some chilling in the hammock, playing with the cousin’s, touring the backyard, checking out a luxury bathroom in the countryside and some more.

After a nice lunch, we took a walk around the area. This was basically (at the conclusion I found) a cruise through to the tons of extended family: sisters, cousin’s, more uncles (the nice tiled house, of which I guess, theres a discrepancy in how the guy got money from the Auntie, so no one likes him, OR the cousin which lives in West Valley City, lol. Grudges extend deep), and picking up the fixings for dinner for that night.

Everything that fresh and local is awesome, no preservatives (excepting Agent Orange or other chemicals dumped), and little to no stress (cultural dissertation) = a long life. I had no idea, this uncle, the dark one, and whose house this is, 58 [I refer to him later / before as 65, due to a communication error]. Sammie’s mom is 60 (American lifestyle hasn’t helped I suppose, but Sammie does make her take out the trash and shovel the walks at home, HAHA), and the cousin, one of the uncles son’s (the guy in the drinking video, younger) is in his FORTIES.

Talk about long life span, the uncle still works the fields, does hard labor, cruises around, and is all around healthy and vibrant. Fucking insane.

Walking, visiting relatives and the neighborhood friends

 

We walked a total of about 3 miles, visiting tons of differing house holds in wealth and others, and each one always had someone of the family there, whom would offer us Something. Anything, like some water-plant fruit, or a drink, etc. Its just the culture to offer a guest something. The people here are very very nice, they all think me and Sammie are husband and wife.

The great-aunti’s (the skinny awesome crazy one) son, who has been at the downtown place many times, is very laid back (is helping build the little shack / pagoda, the darker and heavier (the more muscular dude) and says “the country people are stupid” for the marriage thing, and all around weird thoughts.

The weirdest stares I get are from very old persons, and sometimes tweens (younger then teen? I don’t know this stupid terminology). The older person’s maybe due to the war generation, and the younger, who knows. I’m just a novelty :D I normally say Gao (like gow, chao with a G) Hello, two hello’s and the little youngin’s mostly smile and say “Herro!” back. [note of course this is incorrect, you need more of a J sound, but, it was probably more funny to everyone to Not correct me :D]

Hahahaha.

Its very VERY laid back, and if I had a bunch of minion’s (or hired a family at exceptional wages) to tend an estate, and do the cooking, food gathering etc, this would be a fantastic retirement or just all around getaway. I said 30-50k a year to uphold this type of a house (nicely updated etc), and Sammie believes it would be much cheaper then that, especially if your offsetting the minimal expenses with a family or workers tending crops to eat, or barter and sell.

Calmate

Its also boring after a while, if you can’t get your mind to calm down. My brain is always going at a nice 300MPH clip, which is sometimes why my words stumble, as I’m trying to get out 3 different things at a time, or I’m thinking about my comment and the next “web” of conversation four steps down, and say the second or third “step” instead of the original first..hah.

Calming your mind down also entails getting rid of “music,” which plays in my head as white noise when walking around, sitting around or whatever. I guess Sammie gets some of this, and I tend to constantly have it going on. Either some thoughts, or some music. Over here, out in the country, in the thick of general nature, as well as the time on the rooftop, I was able to clear my head completely and just focus completely on the sounds of nature (or on the roof) or the city. It’s very meditative, and has the effects of a psychedelic segment where everything is in line, at peace, and one with your surroundings.

This is what nirvana is, adjusting to the environment, becoming One with the area, and being at peace. Like a stasis.

Rare moments like these are beyond precious, and I hope to work harder at achieving this in other aspects, area’s and times in my life.

Dinner, and all of the asian food for the last week and some days has taken a toll on my belly. I can’t just plow my stomach with all manner of snails, fish, octopus, noodles and green’s without some sort of adjustment.

Hence why everyone asks “how is your stomach doing?” or hands me ginger tea (IMMENSELY Helpful), and pepto bismal.

Its also a great excuse to stop eating. “ahhh, my stomach” or for not eating some weird shit.

I really haven’t found anything to “weird” that I wouldn’t eat: I’ve had snail, durian (spl?) which was the weirdest thing to Sammie (and everyone around) that I would like it, remember Bpet can’t handle that shit (whom is Laotian), squid stuffed with…something, strange pickled veggies wrapped with fish (the wrapped crap I could NOT handle, it was like fermented or spoiled green beans, but the fish as awesome).

I also can’t handle some of the pork, which they tend to overcook (much better then undercooking, like Sammie undercooking the chicken eggrolls HAHAHAH) can be tough, and when meat is overcooked, the fat sucks.

Sammie’s mum made some awesome pork chops though, and the fat and everything was succulent. Since I hadn’t had a ton of meat at once (normally just little bites of fish, shrimp or pork), I had like 4 chops and a bunch of veggies. Fuck the carbs :D

They had one dish where they boiled chicken into soup, but left the skin on. I had a gag factor going on with the skin, which had congealed (bad word for it) into a nasty rubbery floppidy shit. Those two things have killed me.

Otherwise, my stomach rebels against this much asian food, and I was never a shrimp, clam type of guy. It always killed my stomach, and it was a staple in Every meal for the country trip.

The first meal (or dinner? Can’t remember) was a pile of:

Pork, shrimp (unshelled, which they think its funny me and Sammie shell it), pork sausage (the white stuff, weird looking shit), spoiled pork sausage (green tint), noodles and veggies.

This was purely a egg-role bar, and was fucking awesome. I think the US would enjoy wrapping there own stuff.

There is a lot of things here that could translate well into a good business opportunity:

The food, sugar cane, etc.

In the evening we had a shit ton of beers, duckling eggs (the half cooked suckers), same style: knock the head off the head, shoot the “juice”, then scoop the meat into a VERY salty/peppery seasoning. Enjoy.

Its definitely like wine and cheese, as far as how they enjoy pairing this.

Sleeping with da Insects

The evening was funny. 1) shit tons more bugs then I expected, as during the day, it was very clear, which makes sense, as its pitch dark in the “bush” yet brightly light florescent shit attracts the suckers in waves. The bathroom is also thick with bugs, which made for my comment of “better” then the downtown apartment, a bit reaching. The shower in there is just a cup of purified water anyway, haha.

I chose a bed instead of the floor, mistake, 1) the tiles are cooler then a wooden frame, 2) the bed didn’t fit me. I did have a nice mosquito net, which the video evidences how excited I was (comeon, not really). But the heat, as well as the fan smacking me in the fucking head in the middle of the night twice, as well as not being able to stretch out got me moving around, shouting and all sorts of shenanigans.

Peeing four times in the night due to…what, 8-10 beers in an hour, didn’t help either.

The pillow was rock hard, and the larger Roll was just a little bit less soft. Like going from a rock to blanket-wrapped rock. My neck / body isn’t used to not sleeping on a pillow (like Amber and Sammie, hell, and Bpet can do), so I was fucking miserable. Very hurt in the morning, I stretched for a while.

Tile is actually pretty comfy after a while (as is bare-hard wood), my ass is becoming more asian by the day. However, a stool which is the size of ¾ of my SINGLE right asscheek is still a bit much.

Whilst doing stretching, they didn’t know wtf I was doing. Stretching really isn’t a part of the culture methinks. Though in a giant park (which we haven’t (will?) visited yet thai chi, or a variation is evident. The park has different “stages” and people just gather and do shit.

Anyway, I took a shower first thing due to my shitty night sleeping, and sucker for me, I only had pond-water (not purified) to use. My towel, and my body smelt of algae for the rest of the day, albeit a light smell. Muahhahaha. Pond water, body wash, and a scoop as a “hose” for the win.

Next an asian breakfast: shrimp (more, JESUS) which had similar style medium sized buggers, then small coconut boiled (soaked?) suckers which were pretty tart, in non-pho type thick noodles with the pork sausage again. I had two bowls :D. My eating habits ARE relegated to the family, so I eat with abandon and overstuffing (probably part of my indigestion, too many carbs). The street isn’t very safe to eat on, they tell Sammie “YOU’LL GET GERMS!” and so we get in trouble if we buy something off the street. A little mall shop is OK though, as we’ve gone shopping with Sammie’s love-interest cousin a few times and eaten out. The asian style of 2-3 (yes, sometimes 2) doesn’t lend itself to me normally eating 8x a day in small meals. I have burnt through all my cliff and protein bars, which I wanted to save for the crappy airlines.

ANTS! Fucking ants all over my backpack, so I had to use my nice bug spray to slaughter them..I’ve been lucky (as usual with bugs), I don’t get bit too much, but Sammie is getting fucking eaten alive, sometimes 4-8 a day, 1” circles. They use tiger-oil (heating oil) for them, and it seems to work well.

Sammie then gives me shit: I have HEALTHY blood, so I get bitten, you are UNHEALTHY! But, her cousin’s / uncles are probably healthier then her, so I just chuckle and enjoy NOT getting murdered.

Waking up…gorgeous

We then just bummed around until ~10:30AM. There really isn’t much to do, and even the wealthy Vietnamese (who knows How wealthy this family is), all the way down to the poor, just bum around until something happens.

You’ll see the scooter people who give little rides all over the place, sleeping on there scooter, metal workers lounging (or squatting) in the front, shop keepers for goods (like lotion, water, ciggies) sitting around. You normally don’t know who owns the shop until you walk in, because someone who’s sitting around outside will get up to help you out of the cluster of other people.

The heat does this I would believe, but it ALSO seems, culturally, that most people are just “content” with there lot. Or they “don’t give a fuck” in a true sense of the meaning, which is evident just how little respect is given by pedestrian’s to those driving vehicles, LOL. A giant truck has to slam on its brakes for a grungy looking old man, young kid, or even middle aged woman.

I listened to MMA Sunday school which is fucking hilarious, some music, and then we took off. This time, instead of walking the 1.5 mile, we were taking a little boat down the river. I was so focused on not falling OVER the boat, and soaking my whole pack. So instead, I fell enough to plant my ass on the bank, and slam my foot over a footdeep into the muck. Muhahahah. Sammie got a somewhat decent picture. We pulled out my foot, just dirty (and with oily orange-type mud, its rather nasty and probably unhealthy), and I busted my big toe-nail back, so a little blood leaked around. This wasn’t a clean break, more like it hit something on the way down, and “snapped” back for a moment.

Cleaned it out, the aunt came out with some oil, and dumped it on as best as possible, then I left it alone as it didn’t hurt much.

We then had a 1 hour boat ride which had the love-interest cousin rowing / pulling with a skinny paddle for 10 min to get to a larger river (all while squatting, jesus CHRIST), then the Uncle fired up a small engine. Funnily enough, the stupid engine died like 5x and it almost turned into a 3 hour rowing ride (poor cousin, but she lives to serve anyway).

This cousin was squatting the WHOLE fucking time, rowing, moving, balancing, then chilling. It made my own hips hurt just watching…

After this, I’m hot as fuck, a bit dirty, and my toe hurts more. Which just tells me something may be stuck in there. We take a short scooter ride, and my driver is waving at his family or friends and swerving everywhere, lol, and chill at a bus stop for a minute.

Sammie has a spare q-tip (as she murders her ear canal daily), and I scrape the shit out from beneath my big-toe nail. Which feels wonderful.

We got some awesome sticky-rice and red (kidney probly) bean mix wrapped in dried leaves from some old grandma, and it was actually really bland, but good. This would be an awesome healthy snack during the day.

STARVING to death, but I don’t even drink much water so I won’t have to piss on the trip back. Its funny, because NOONE in Vietnam drinks much water anyway, which is weird to me in just the sheer amount of Volume you DO sweat, doing labor, or just walking around, or sitting trying to hibernate.

We got a van, the cousin kicks an old man to the back to get us all seated together. The driver sucks, everytime he gets on his phone he slows to 20 mph (40ish KM) and pisses me off.

We take forever to get back to the city, as we drop off ~5 people first, THEN get to the station. THEN another ride back to the home. Now I’m sticky, pissed, have no towel which doesn’t smell of algae, and theirs no food but fruit.